Thunder trembles through the sky. My first visit back to Cuba since CoVid’s insidious destruction of a more prosperous time in Cuba is coming to a close. I am laying wrapped in my towel under the overhang of the patio at El Grille at the beach close to Trinidad. My therapy here listening to wind and rain as a fever rages through me making me shiver and sweat at the same time. My heart is aching and I’m not sure if my illness is emotional or physical at the moment.
There is nothing that hurts me more than leaving this island behind again. There truly are no words and no way for me to express the sentiments I hold for this place and it is one of the true mysteries of my existence why I have such a powerful bond to this island and to Trinidad in particular. Perhaps a past life, perhaps a future life possibility, perhaps the love of the music and lifestyle, perhaps I truly am a little bit crazy, but this place has a grip on my heart and soul that no other place in the world ever has. I would sacrifice everything to be able to stay, and in the past I have. It’s tempting even now to do it again, yet I know that now is just not the time.
Oya sings to me through dancing palms and raging winds. Yemalla dances in front of me in response to her call. Chango powers his heavy feet across the sky making the heavens tremble and every cell in my body is alive with their songs. I know that when I leave I will be once again focused on what income stream I can create that allows me to return and stay longer and longer and someday perhaps permanently. Truly everything I’ve done on my return to the matrix of the USA has been with that one goal in mind. The home I purchased was in hopes that once I am liberated from all family obligations, I could sell and use those resources to live out my years peacefully and quietly in Cuba. My day to day life, always with Cuba in my heart dancing her dance, enraptured by the art and passions of companionship and friendship Cuba has taught me.
Thanks to Biden’s openings, perhaps it will become easier to visit more often again if the airports in Cienfuegos and Santa Clara open again for flights. I just know that this dream is infinite in me and if anyone reads this and I’ve already left my body, please sprinkle my ashes there.